Caregiving is often seen as a quiet act of devotion — something we take on out of love, duty, or simply because there’s no one else to do it. But behind the curtain of selflessness is a world of exhaustion, emotional overwhelm, and moments when you wonder if you’re even doing it right.
Over the years, I have walked this path many times — caring for both sets of parents. I have held space for my mother through severe panic attacks, accompanied my father-in-law and and father through their cancer journeys, and now, it is my mother-in-law’s Alzheimer’s that shapes our everyday life. My recent care giving duties brought back every memory and every emotion that I have felt individually while having to care for each of my parents. Each experience has left its mark, but more than anything, they have shown me how invisible and all-consuming caregiving can be.
What makes it harder is that even when caregiving is done within a family, the mental and emotional load adds to the many many list of things that need to be get done. There is always the feeling of anticipating the next doctor visit, managing medication schedules, coordinating with attendants, and dealing with unpredictable episodes. And when the mind stays in this constant state of alert and vigilance, rest feels like a distant idea. I never realised this when I was in the midst of “doing it all”, till my therapist gently showed it to me.
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