Dengue- dreaded and hated…how is it possible that a small creature like a mere mosquito cause so much pain.
I used to read about Dengue in the papers and like always never thought it was something that would hit home.
Not until my 14 year old daughter complained of body ache and was boiling with fever just after her exams got over. We were looking forward to enjoying when on Saturday the first day of fever hit and I urged a friend who took me to the clinic.
The doctor’s opinion was straight and simple. If it was more than a viral fever, we would have to wait till Monday.
The weekend was the toughest two days of my life – I have been through a lot and can say that I have always tried to remain calm and positive ( thanks to yoga!) but this time around I found myself slightly off balance. The weekend was wet, gloomy, depressing and seeing my child suffer with fever that refused to break was excruciatingly painful.. I felt helpless and out of sorts. My husband was traveling on duty abroad and there was no way he could be back(and a tiny voice in my head said – “what could he possibly do anyway!”)
Come Monday I rushed her back to the clinic only to be confirmed with the dreaded Dengue
I do not want to write about the Do’s and Don’ts of the disease. There is more and enough matter on the same.
As a mother who sees the child suffer I thought I could pen down something that would help! I am an Emotional Intelligence Coach and barring the fact that I have helped people in their life’s worst dilemmas and situations , I can assure you that it is never easy.
On hindsight yes, but at the time of the situation, it is very hard. We know medicine can help people ride through the disease but what happens emotionally is something I wanted to address. Here are my 5 top thoughts on the same. Hope it helps!
Don’t panic but don’t ignore
I always thought fever meant an infection coming up. Dengue fever is just fever. Whatever the case, try not to panic. In my case I was alone and I had to reason out that there is help available. At the same time, no panic does not mean it cannot happen to you. Do not ignore the fever even if it turns out to be a flu or an infection of any kind. Untreated dengue is dangerous and it must be addressed on time.
Seek support from who you know are genuinely there for you. I have had people asking me “how dengue?”.. this is something that I feel questions my ability as a mother. Wish I knew why dengue.. for some time I really imagined falling short of my abilities to look after my family. But then that negativity is not welcome. Shun them all.. tell the world that your child is suffering and you will be surprised how many have already been through it. Do not hesitate to reach out to people who empathise and tell you what course to take( I am not talking medical help.. it is more like emotional help!)
Trust your instincts – You have more strength than anyone else
The gut of a mother is unquestionable. If you think something is not right then go with it.. even if everything turns out to be fine. The moment I saw my otherwise chirpy and bratty kid dwindle and feel low, my alarm bells rang. Yes, I agree I am a hyper mother- I have been unanimously voted as one by friends and family and I am happy with the title! It was my gut that took her to the doctor within 4 hours of unbreakable fever. I knew just knew that this was not usual. Even through the weekend I knew something would come up. I actually felt relieved with the doctor confirmed dengue because now I knew what was wrong and what needed to be done. Otherwise, the anxiety of not knowing was killing!
Don’t listen to unwanted advice and inputs especially from Google
Google is the last thing you should see but our first instinct is to use it. Whatever you read seems to be written for you. Try an online tarot reading – even that seems apt for a situation you are going through( yes! I did that in one of my moods- guilty and stupid!). No matter how strong the urge, do not Google.. do not read extra.. if you trust your doctor, just go with him/her. Google only adds to the anxiety- I have nothing against the search engine.. it’s something that we do not know how to manage – the plethora of information that it throws up! Also, advice and inputs will come from relatives and friends- who may mean well but does nothing to your emotional health. If talking to anyone, doesn’t reassure you- just ignore those calls and messages. Period! Go with the “ I am getting you fruits this evening” kind of friends rather than “How is she? What is her platelet count” kind of friends.
Keep the humour even if you are crying inside
Very very important – as a mother you play multiple roles and this comes also by the maternal instinct that is so true to nature. My child was anyway suffering, I was handling everything leave alone my emotional being. Yes, there are friends and family to help but when you are cuddled next to a burning child, you are helpless and it pains. You have to tell yourself to see the humour, to help manage her low moods. Each mother knows what is best for her baby and that is exactly what I mean. Be positive, be humorous, be joyful and have faith. Dengue runs its own course- it goes on its own so acceptance of this course with a little bit of humour will always help.
My opinions are just mine. Many mums may or may not agree but I know this for sure that when a mum goes through tough times especially when it is their kids, there is no greater strength than what lies inside us.
TRUST YOURSELF- YOU KNOW MORE THAN YOU THINK YOU DO- Dr Spock
Image Courtesy – keepcalmandposters.com, timesofindia,thegraduate21.com,mypositiveparenting.com, yahoo.com